A Theology of Regret

     My wife would not hesitate to tell you that she and I come from very different backgrounds. One of the areas that has moved to the forefront of our relationship is our mindset towards decisions. On one hand, I make decisions with irrational confidence. I launch myself towards a door, even if its only open a crack, merely based on a "gut feeling" or "seems like God is orchestrating this." I have no fear of failing, failure is inevitable and the mortar with which we build our lives. Jenni has lived with a different mindset for most of her life. A caution to the extreme which is more concerned with one thing above all else: regret.

     Every decision is painstakingly slow if the primary thought is, "I really don't want to pick the wrong thing, what if I regret it?" There are several logical and theological problems with this mindset, and I've been slowing showing my very teachable wife the wonder a life free from worry can be. So, I'll share some of my thoughts here.

     I don't want to call it regret-free because that sounds too much like the YOLO, live life to the fullest crowd. But because I don't have a good name for it yet, I'd love your help by the way, I'll call it just that. To be regret-free you have to have certain presuppositions.

First - God is in control. It all comes down to this, the rest of the thought process revolves around God's sovereign authority over everything. From Creation to Christ to the 2nd Coming and Cosmic Ending (oh yeah) we are taught one thing above all else, God > _____. Regret-Free living is "God > _____" thinking. (Copyright 2013 PrinceofSaxony)

Second - God loves you. His sovereignty would be the most frightening truth possible were it not for His love. However, knowing His love compels us to Trust Him. As Paul says in Romans 8:28-29, Saxon Paraphrase Version (SPV) "God has planned out everything for His children's gain, the ones He handpicked and saved and is perfecting to be like Christ."

--- Side note, I prefer to paraphrase scripture for two reasons, #1 - I try not to fill my writing with quotes, this is supposed to be what I think #2 - You don't truly understand something until you can paraphrase it ---

Third - Sometimes there is no right choice. This may be the toughest one for some people to swallow. But lets face it, Big Mac or Double Quarter Pounder? They're both so good and yet they're both so so bad. Poor example, I know, but the concept should be clear, millions of times each day we make innocuous decisions, why fret over them? This shirt or that shirt? Apple or Banana? Apple or Microsoft? (We both know there's a right answer to that one...Microsoft) The list goes on and on. I have seen people, my beautiful wife in particular, slave over such simple decisions because they're afraid of making the "wrong" one. As Kevin DeYoung so elegantly put it, "Just Do Something" (I have the book, haven't sat down and read all the way through it, too busy just doing something I suppose).

     So, there's the foundation to regret-free living. Recognizing when a decision is not right/wrong, acknowledging God's love for me, and keeping "God >" at the front of my mind. This leads to the ultimate question, what if two good people disagree on what's right/wrong? How do I know who to listen to? "If I speak I am condemned, but if I stay silent...I am damned." Catch 22s, "rock and a hard place" situations, strain even the calmest regret-free lifer. However, if God is truly in control then no situation find myself in is the "wrong" one. Also, if God truly loves me, then I will be able to handle any difficulty with His help. I don't have to worry that I lost some chance to serve, or lost some reward somewhere, we can't go back in time. Regret leads to despair and in despair lurks death. I would venture that a sizable majority of suicides stem from regret. Granted, some are spurred by impending consequences but the thought pattern that results in the false-escape of suicide most often is a cesspool of regret and despair.

     The Theology of Regret also introduces an enormous amount of stress into your life. I sounds goofy, but living regret-free is healthier. Not YOLO, gonna party like the Epicureans, regret-free. But no-regret, make a choice and live in the confidence that 1 Peter 4:19 is true: (SVP) "We endure this life knowing that our King, the Creator God, who we can trust explicitly, is holding us in His hands." regret-free.

     Should we regret sin? No. and yes. But mostly no. Did Christ die on the cross for my sin? Yes. Did He die for my sins already committed, that is past sins? Yes. But didn't He also die for the sins yet to be committed? Of course. Does this mean I should go out and sin? Of course not! But, Romans 8:1 reminds us of the most liberating truth, "For Christ's children, the verdict is not guilty." (SVP) Hey, David wept over his sin. True, and he begged for forgiveness. He didn't write a Psalm that said, "People of Israel, I have massively erred and therefore must remove myself from the ministry God has appointed me to and forever be marked a failure in the Christian Life" although if you look around in today's Evangelical circles, you'd think he did. True repentance releases regret. Let that sink in, cuz its HUGE. Place your sins at the cross and let Christ give you the gift of new life. Let me rephrase, live in the freedom and blessing Christ died to secure for you, not in the bondage of guilt Satan works tirelessly to maintain.

     Are you living in regret? Stop it, and don't worry about it if you think you are, cuz that's just more regret about being in regret, and it can cycle for awhile, just ask my wife. Instead, change your thinking altogether, through the renewing of your mind by the power of the Holy Spirit, and focus on "God >" and His undying (and dying but resurrected) love for you.

  Braves just dropped 3 straight to San Diego, ugh, but we pitched pretty well, just can't get any consistency from the lineup. Nasty, no good, horrible parallels between this team and late 90s Braves teams are cropping up, but I'll ignore them and maybe they'll go away. Home for 3 with the Mets and 4 with the Giants before coming up here to MILWAUKEE!!!! WHIPEEEEEEE!!!! Already gots my tix for all 3 games, come out and support America's Team - if you don't you're a traitor and should watch out for the NSA cuz they're watching you.